For most of my life I addressed severe social anxiety and low shallowness, therefore what I even have to share with you during this short guide comes from an entirely of personal experience. While I cannot probably supply everything there’s to grasp concerning overcoming these internal problems, I will alter everything down into some sensible steps which will take you way if you only keep them in your mind and heart as you bear your life. What I’ve found on my journey is that simplicity is key of social anxiety and low self esteem
There is a bent to believe that since our issues are with North American country for thus long, the solution to them must be complex and/or difficult to implement. From my own experience, I can confidently say that the real reason we have not been able to find a solution to our problems is because the solutions are so simple that we completely overlook them.Justbecause one thing sounds straightforward doesn’t mean it’s not effective.Keep that in mind as you read the rest of this guide. self esteem
Step #1 Own it as self-created.
First of all, we must stop projecting our problems onto the outside world and believing that something else is “causing” us to feel a certain way. For example, if you are lonely, you might think the ’cause’ is you not having any close relationships with others. Most people will seek a relationship to solve their loneliness but this is not a permanent solution because the core issue has not been addressed, and that core issue lies WITHIN YOU, not in any hoped-for person, situation, or circumstance.
Owning FULL responsibility for our problems is the first essential step to overcoming them. This is owning our power to create our lives rather than being the victim of outside forces. At first, you might feel bad about owning responsibility for your problems because that means you have made mistakes, perhaps a lot of them. But actually, this is a reason to celebrate! Why? Because if you created your problems by yourself alone, that means you alone can create solutions to those problems! You are in control! That is good news, my friend.
Step #2 Develop a non-attached perspective.
What so many of us do is use our emotions as self-definition. For example, if you experience a lot of anxiety, you probably define yourself as “an anxious person.” This is a vicious trap because when you define yourself in this way, you are telling your brain to seek out “proof” for why this is true. Beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies. If you believe you are an anxious person, that is what you will be, no matter how much your circumstances change for the better. The only solution to this is to begin developing a non-attached perspective. It is extremely important to recognize that your thoughts and emotions are not the real ‘you’.
This becomes very obvious when you think about it in a rational way…you experience your thoughts and emotions, so, therefore, you must be separate from them. If you were not separate, you would have no way to experience them.
A good analogy is that sound cannot be heard without the backdrop of silence. Likewise, thoughts and emotions cannot be experienced without the backdrop of your true self, which is silent and simply ‘aware’ of what is going on. Developing this non-attached perspective is absolutely crucial if you want to overcome ALL your internal fears and resistances. It is simply a matter of practice. Instead of getting lost in your emotions and the stories in your mind, step back for one moment and ask yourself, “who or what is it that is witnessing these thoughts and emotions?”
Just asking the question will direct you to the truth, that you are not who you believe yourself to be but rather the witness of everything, aware but unaffected. When you get to know your ‘real self’ you start to feel at peace because your real self is not dependent on any thoughts or emotions. It doesn’t need them. Always complete, whole, and perfect, in need of nothing at all. It is like silence. When you start to identify with the silence rather than the noise, your life becomes a whole lot more pleasant.
Step #3 Break attachments and aversions.
The mind believes that it “needs” certain things in order to be happy. It also believes that is must avoid certain things in order to remain happy. These two deeply held beliefs create what we might call “attractions” and “aversions” and most of our entire life is spent in constant fluctuation between these 2 extremes of fear and desire. This is an error of perception that happens in almost everyone, except those who are very evolved. The mind naturally looks outward for solutions. This is a basic survival mechanism, but it also creates confusion and unhappiness in our lives. The Buddha said that the root of unhappiness was desire.
When we desire something, we simultaneously fear that we will not receive what we desire, and so we live in this constant tug of war, chasing what we want and fearing the opposite. This is what creates all the turmoil in our life. To escape the suffering, we must break the attachments and aversions by seeing them for what they really are: illusions of perception. The mind is very deceiving. It is basically programmed to keep us miserable by keeping us seeking for the source of happiness outside of ourselves. The mind desperately craves pleasure, whether through people, things, experiences, drugs, alcohol, risk-taking, or whatever it may be. Notice how the mind is never truly satisfied or at peace for any considerable length of time.
Why is this? It is due to an incredibly common misperception, the belief that happiness must be acquired from someone or something else. Adding more to the misery, the mind also desperately wants to avoid what it fears. This is basic biology at work. It can serve us greatly in rare instances of danger, however, 99% of the time it only serves to keep us locked up in our comfort zones. self esteem
Step #4 Develop compassion for self and others.
There is great power in Love. So many people suffer because they secretly hate themselves. Because they hate themselves, they tend to hate others also. We all project our feelings onto the external world. We love to blame others. The world looks pretty miserable when WE are miserable. The solution to overcoming this victim mindset that does not serve us at all is to make the decision to be kind and loving to everyone, including ourselves, to the best of our ability. Hate is always destructive. I don’t care who did what to you. self esteem
You need to forgive them. Forgive your parents, your ex-lover, the person who stole from you, cheated you, or anyone who ever did anything less than kind to you. Holding onto grudges will do you no good whatsoever. It will guarantee that you live a miserable existence, quietly suffering in your self-created prison. LOVE is the answer. I don’t care what anyone says. My life has been transformed by the power of love. When I began to love myself, my anxiety began to disappear. When I made the decision to forgive those who wronged me, even more of it disappeared. And when I chose to love even my enemies, I discovered a sense of peace within myself that is beyond all description.
I finally realized that I was never a victim at all. I saw clearly that life was only showing me what I desperately needed to let go of. Every situation has served me by bringing me closer to the source of happiness within my own heart. There are only 2 basic emotions, love and fear. In every moment, we are choosing between them. Every thought is either a fear-based, destructive thought or a love-based, empowering thought. We all have the choice to make. If you have been choosing fear all your life, it’s okay, because it is never too late to choose love. Right NOW is the perfect time to do so.
self esteemed girlSocial anxiety and low self esteem
Step #5 Lean into your fears. F.E.A.R = False evidence appearing real.
Fear is only useful for one thing: keeping you alive. If you are facing a life-threating situation, then fear will serve you greatly. In every other instance, fear is a limitation that prevents you from experiencing the life you want to live. Many people live in constant anticipation of what “might” happen. This is negative mental programming at work (here’s a quick and easy antidote to this). Many of us have grown up with parents and teachers who taught us to live with caution because the world is supposedly a dangerous place. Most of this is pure lies and/or over-exaggeration.
I recently traveled alone to the Philippines and my family was intent on telling me of all the potential dangers I would face there. Well, 5 months in a strange country by myself and I never once felt that my life was in danger. Sure, I faced fear, but only to find out that my fear was a lie. I didn’t need it. If you want to do something but you are afraid to do it, that is a sign that you absolutely NEED to do it. self esteem
You need to face your fears in order to find out that your fears are not real. If you do not face them, you will continue on believing in them for your entire life and live in a false prison of your own making. You will limit yourself and never fulfillyour potential. This is how most people live, but you don’t have to follow suit. You can live a truly unlimited life, but first, you must lean into your perceived limitations in order to break the chains that bind you. You will find that those chains are not made of steel, but paper…self esteem
Step #6 Loosen up. Have fun. Life is short.
I know, the world is a little crazy. I’m crazy, you’re crazy, so let’s just laugh about it and enjoy our life in this crazy world while it lasts. Who says that learning and growing as a person can’t be fun? Having fun doesn’t mean to be reckless. It means to focus more on the present moment and learn to be happy no matter what is happening. I am having fun writing this. Hopefully, you are having fun reading it. Can’t we all just have fun together?
🙂Social anxiety and low self esteem
We’re all essentially actors in a grand drama. It’s all temporary. Before we know it, we’ll be leaving this earth and this movie will be over. What will we think about before we leave? I’ll be thinking of how much fun I had, the people who touched my life and the lives I touched in turn. Life is good if you just choose to see it that way. Loosen up. Everything is gonna be okay You are blessed! It is truly a blessing to be a human. self esteem
We all have so much to learn, so many opportunities for growth! It is truly incredible if you think about it. You are a MIRACLE. Don’t ever forget it. self esteem ,I hope this guide has been helpful, my friend. I have so much more to share with you. Make sure to sign up for my mailing list here and get your free gift so that you will be notified when I release more great content like this.
social anxiety and low